FUCKING KIMMICH, JOHN

Heady Topper, in the UK at least, is one of those beers that exists more in reputation than actual reality. You will find craft beer fans discussing it in hushed tones, whispering about how many fields of hops died to make one can of the stuff.  The fact it's deliberately manufactured in small quantities to precisely provoke this reaction is something best not mentioned to them, but looking for it keeps them occupied. Harmless, really.

It's brewed in the USA at Vermont's Alchemist Brewery, who's head brewer is one John Kimmich.  This man is revered by a subset of beer consumers.  He's a subject of numerous puff pieces in the barely-read Craft beer press who always go and interview the people queueing at the brewery for their "allocation" of Heady Topper when a new batch is released.  "What makes John and his beer so AWESOME?" is the general tone of the questioning.  Again, no real harm done.

What did John Kimmich do next?  Well, he was flown over to Adnams Brewery in Suffolk, England to do a brew with them.  Such things are not unknown in beer circles. But who was doing the "flying in"?  One JD Wetherspoon plc. , a slightly downmarket large pub chain, and the beer was going to be Exclusively Sold by them.

But..but...would the Spoons drinking plebs appreciate such a finely crafted beer, worried the Crafties.  They may only pay around £2.50 a pint for it!  And, worst of all, they might not know or care who John Kimmich actually is!  These things are important, dude.

So, whenever you see a group of Craft Beer fans in a pub (they're easy enough to spot) being condescending about people, you know, just buying drinks instead of finely appreciating the efforts of artisan brewing, just shout "JOHN FUCKING KIMMICH" at them.  You're sure to get a knowing smile.

Or a smack in the mouth.  Be prepared to duck beforehand.